I won't let you break
by AmericanIdiot12
Summary: Sean and Ellie. one shot


I always through that the older you get the easier things would be. Well, chores got easier, school got easier, but not the situations I got myself in. This year I decided to start out good. It was my junior year at Degrassi Community School and I planned to make the best of it.

My Alarm went off and I got up and headed for the shower. I dried off, walked to my closet and picked out some black fishnets, my army boots a black skirt, belt, a black short sleeve shirt, and my black arm warmers. I straightened my newly colored hair, which is now, a dark reddish brown, and applied my makeup. I started to wonder how much everyone had changed over the summer. I grabbed my backpack and went downstairs and out the door. As I turned on the ignition of my clack VW beetle, my cell phone rang. I was my best friend Ashley Kerwin.

"Hey" she said.

"Hey Ashley, what's up?"

"Are you still giving me a ride?"

"Of course. I'll be there in about five minutes."

I pulled out and blasted my radio as I headed for Ashley's house. When I pulled up she was already waiting outside. She jumped in the passenger side and we headed to school.

To say the very least, I pretty much survived my first day of school. I got the two hardest teachers for Math and English, and my locker was assigned next to Sean Cameron, a so called "criminal" who was a sophomore who had flunked 7th. This was going to be a crazy year. After school was out I headed to my locker to gather my stuff. I had to head over to my co-op with Caitlin. I entered my combination and grabbed my bag and books and ran out the door. For the next couple of days, it took some getting used to school again. Hell, for the last 3 months of summer I had been sleeping all day, and partying all night. Don't get me wrong, I'm a good kid and all. I am responsible and everything. I just got a little carried away this summer. I made a lot of new, older friends and just got mixed up in some stuff. The on friends I really saw from Degrassi all summer were Ashley and Marco. I just hoped that nothing would go wrong at school. I wanted to breeze by this year unnoticed. I wanted to grow up and leave behind all the drama.

My day had gone smoothly. I was wearing my brand new outfit and I was carrying a cup of coffee from the Caf and my books in the other hand. I was walking kind of fast, I had to meet Caitlin for my co-op in about 5 minutes and I was reviewing my upcoming assignment so much as not to notice Sean Cameron come hurtling around the corner. The next thing I knew, my books and papers were scattered throughout the hallway and my coffee all over Sean and me. He stood up and looked around not knowing what to say. Sean wasn't exactly an aquantiance of mine.

"I'm so sorry," I said picking my papers up.

"No, I'm sorry, I just got detention and I was mad and careless. I should have been looking out for where I was going. Can I help you pick this up?" He replied helping me off the ground.

"Sure, thanks" I replied. That day, as we both cleaned my stuff in the hallway I realized that Sean Cameron wasn't always that tough guy you want to avoid. I decided to give him a chance and I tried to be friends.

"Look, I have to go to my co-op, but do you want to hang out sometime?"

"Yeah sure! Do you wanna come over Friday? I'm having a party. You can bring a friend if you want," He said.

"Sure, I'll see you tomorrow." I replied as I walked away.

Everyday that week at school, Sean and I talked more and more. Ashley and me were going to go on Friday and I couldn't wait. I soon found out that Sean and me liked the same bands, and hangout spots, and we have a lot in common. My mom and his parents are both heavy drinkers so we understand what its like to never have your parents around. On Friday, Ashley and me went to my house to get ready after school. I was getting kind of nervous because I didn't know what Sean's parties ended up like. I wasn't friends with Jay and I knew he would be there so I didn't want to start any trouble with him by showing up. Ashley started to dig through the messy pits of my closet looking for something decent to wear. She ended up wearing a short blue jean skirt that kind of flared out, some black ugg boots and a black shirt. I picked out fishnets, a plaid skirt and a black tank top. We spent the next couple of hours hanging out and watching television. My mom was planning on being out of town that weekend to go visit my grandmother so we didn't have curfew. We left my house around nine-thirty. Ashley turned on my radio and took control of my stations. I was trying to remember the way Sean told me to get to his house when I saw a bunch of cars and people near the road. I recognized Jay and some of his friends so I parked across the street. I checked myself in the mirror once more and then scolded myself for caring about how I looked, since when was I trying to impress anyone?

The party had already gotten crazy with dancing and drinking everywhere. Some guy came up to Ashley and wanted to dance so she disappeared. I walked around until I found Sean taking shots with Jay. I walked up and said hey to Sean.

"Hey Ellie, glad you could make it."

"No Problem. Can I have some Sean?" Jay snickered after I had asked and said something along the lines of assuming that I had never drank before. Sean laughed. I gave him the death glare.

"Okay, Okay, sorry Ellie. Here!" Sean got a row of shots in front of both of us and we quickly finished them off.

"Damn Ellie! I have never seen a girl drink like that!" said Jay.

"Do you want to go to my room and talk? It is so loud in here," Yelled Sean over the music. Sean grabbed my arm and led me down the hall. His room was really big, with a king-sized bed in the middle. He didn't take the time to straighten up his room for the party so his bed was unmade and his dirty clothes were all over the place. He had dark black walls and a desk and a dresser. It looked like a room Sean would have. We walked over and sat on the bed and Sean took my hand.

"You know Ellie, I really like you, I just never had the guts to tell you" He said. I just sat there and looked at him for a couple of seconds. I guess I liked him too, I just didn't let myself believe it until now. I leaned forward and lightly kissed him. I could taste the alcohol on his lips. He pulled away and looked at me.

"So does that mean that you like me too?" he said playfully.

"Yes, it does." I said as he leaned in for another kiss. This time it was more intense. He put his hand behind my neck and started to play with my hair as we made out. He started to push me backward on the bed and he laid on top of me as we kissed. I ran my hands up and down his back. He started to pull up my shirt but I stopped him.

"Sean, we're drunk, we need to stop." I said, trying to act a little responsible. I mean he's not even my boyfriend and we had just almost hooked up.

"Alright, I'm sorry, let's go back to the party." I kissed him one more time and then he grabbed my hand and we went back to the party.

Monday at School Sean met me at my locker.

"Hey Ellie, how was your weekend?" He asked me.

"It was good. What's wrong?" I had noticed that he wouldn't look me in the eye.

"Well…um…you see…. Ellie, Will you go out with me?"

"Sure!" I replied and I grabbed his hand.

The days turned into weeks, weeks into months and Christmas break started this weekend. Things with Sean have been going great and we have almost been together for four months. This has been the best four months of my life. I had always promised myself that I wouldn't let myself go for a guy but I took that back. I would do anything for Sean. He had been planning on having a Christmas party with jay and his friends. I still didn't like Jay that much, but I didn't want to upset Sean so I agreed to it. Ashley and Marco were planning on going with me. The night of the party I wore a black and white striped short sleeve shirt and a scarf to match, my black arm warmers, black skirt, and knee boots. Ashley, Marco, and I headed for the Dot to grab some dinner before the party because we had a while before it started. After eating quickly, we got into my car and headed for Sean's house. As usual, the party was already started. There were so many people passed out everywhere and the music was loud and for the life of me I couldn't find Sean anywhere. I walked across the messy room looking through groups of people and I looked in the kitchen and still no Sean. When I reached the hallway, that's when I heard yelling coming from his room so I opened the door to find Jay yelling in Sean's face.

"I'm gonna get you Sean, I'm gonna make you miserable, you're gonna regret it. You don't mess with me. I will fuck you up and everything you love." Jay turned around and shoved me on the ground. "And this bitch better watch her back." He stormed out slamming the door behind him. Sean helped me up.

"Are you ok baby?"

"What's going on? He said he was going to hurt you baby, I'm scared."

"Don't worry, He's all talk. We just got into a little argument. Nothing for you to worry about."

"I love you Sean."

"I'll be right back, I'm gonna go get us something to drink."

"Alright," I said. He leaned down and kissed me and left his room shutting the door behind him. I walked into his bathroom and shut the door behind me and locked it. I didn't want to sit alone in Sean's room. I was scared. Until I saw it just lying there. It was sharp and glimmering in the light. I wanted so bad just to pick it up and pull it across my skin, but I knew that Sean wanted me to stop so I didn't do it. I heard his bedroom door open and close. I checked myself in the mirror and then opened the door. I walked out into his room, but strange enough, there was nobody there. I started to walk towards the door when someone came out of nowhere and pushed me backward onto Sean's bed. I looked up into the eyes of Jay. Jay was on top of me holding me down.

"Bitch, like I said, you better watch your back."

"Jay, please get off me!" I said struggling with tears running down my cheeks. "SEAN PLEASE HELP ME!" I screamed at the top of my lungs but Jay covered my mouth.

"Shut the Fuck up Bitch…if you're not quiet I will make it worse." As I was looking up at Jay I realized that my virginity was going to be taken, and I had no say.

He slowly proceeded to undo my skirt. He tried to kiss me but I spit on him. He slapped me across my face and went back to removing my clothes. I tried to get up but he just threatened me more. I was so scared and I just wanted Sean to come save me. I started crying even harder. He held me with one hand and reached over to the bedside table with the other and opened the drawer.

"Sean probably fucks the shit out of you all the time…where does he keep his condoms?"

"For your Information, I'm a virgin. Jay please don't do this to me. I never did anything to you."

"Oh…you're a virgin? Even better. I know you didn't do anything, this is to hurt Sean." I started crying and screaming louder until I felt something cold against my neck.

"Do you feel that Ellie? That is what I like to call a gun. If you don't cooperate, I will kill you." I didn't say a word I just did what he said. I was scared to death.

"Towerz is guarding the door so your prince won't be here to save you." He said to me. I hated him more than words could describe. He assumed that he had the right to do whatever he wanted to me. He started to remove his clothes also and I just looked at the ceiling trying to ignore him. When he was completely naked he tried to force me to give him head. I refused. He gave up after a while and got really pissed off.

"Fine. If you won't do that I'll just fuck you." He gritted through his teeth. Everything was running through my mind at one time. I wanted Sean, I wondered if he knew Jay was hurting me, or if Towerz wouldn't let him in. Then Jay grabbed both of my legs and pulled them open and lowered himself on top of me.

"This will probably hurt you but you know what, since when have I cared?" He said laughing. He then shoved himself inside of me. I cried out in pain. It felt like I was being ripped apart. He just kept moving back and forth, slowly taking away my innocence. I dug my nails into his back, hoping he would stop, but it only made him be even rougher with me. Out of nowhere the door flew open and Sean stopped dead in his tracks.

"SEAN HELP ME PLEASE!" I screamed out through my tears. He ran toward me but Towerz tackled him into the floor and picked him up holding his arms behind him.

"Jay, what the hell?"

"Sean, I told you not to fuck with me, so I'm fucking your girl! And guess what? You get to enjoy every bit of it." He said with a huge grin on his face. He proceeded to have sex with me despite my little acts of protest. I was screaming in pain as he thrust harder into me and I refused to look into Sean's eyes. I could hear him crying and screaming, trying to help me, but He just couldn't get to me. Jay looked into my eyes.

"Oooo baby this feels great. I never knew what it was like to fuck a virgin. I hope you fucking get pregnant. You deserve it you filthy whore." The room was filled with moans from Jay and then he collapsed onto me. He got up after a minute, kissed me with force, got up and got dressed and as he walked away he punched Sean in the face. Then he turned to look at me.

"Thank you baby, call me," and then Towerz and Jay walked away shutting the door behind them. Sean ran over to me and held me. He wrapped the sheets around me and held me close. I cried into his chest.

"I so sorry baby…. I'm so sorry I wasn't here…I'm sorry…" He said crying as he rocked me back and forth.

"I love you," I said as I cried even more. I cried until I fell asleep in Sean's arms.

I felt a warm hand run across my cheek but I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. I was ashamed. I wanted to crawl up and die. I gave in, and looked up to see Sean lying next to me. Suddenly, the horrible events of last night came flooding into my head and I started to tear up again.

"Baby, its gonna be ok I promise…" he said to me reassuringly.

"I'm so sorry Sean, I should have gone with you to get a drink, I shouldn't have stayed in your room by myself. You heard Jay, I knew he was dangerous. He warned me and I didn't listen."

"Don't even start blaming yourself. This was not your fault. You didn't ask for this. I made a mistake and you had to pay for it. I'm really sorry baby."

"I just want this all to go away."

"I know, and trust me, He's gonna pay for this." And with that I went back to sleep. I wanted to stay away from facing reality just a little while longer.

About four hours later I woke up to an empty bed. I got up and walked around the house for a few minutes, struggling not to cry out in pain. I had numerous bruises and cuts. There was a note on the counter.

_I went out looking for Jay. Don't worry, I went with friends. I left you money to order a pizza if you want to. I love you and I will call you in a couple of hours._

_Sean_

Oh great. My boyfriend is going to get "revenge." I decided to go take a shower. I felt dirty and used. I walked to the back of the house and into the bedroom. I saw Jay's hat sitting on the floor next to the bed. I broke down. I started to cry and scream and throw things. I was so angry with Jay for what he did to me. And then it hit me. I knew what I needed to do. I went to Sean's desk and grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something down on it. I then went into the bathroom and locked the door. I ran the bathwater and took my clothes off. I walked over to the sink and studied my reflection. I looked dead. I felt dead inside. Jay had stolen my innocence away from me. I felt used…. and Sean was hurting because of it. He was hurting because Jay raped me. I need to let Sean go and let him live his life without having to worry about me all the time.

When the bathwater was done, I was about to get in, when I heard my cell ringing. I looked at it only for the caller ID to read SEANS CELL. I finally answered it.

"What do you want?"

"Hi Ellie. I just wanted to check up on you. Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm just fine and dandy Sean, Just stop worrying about me, ok? You're free Sean. I'm letting you go."

"Ellie what's going on? You're acting really weird. Ellie, Hello?" The sound of a click and a dial tone was all he heard.

Sean was with Craig about five minutes from his house. He knew he had to get there as soon as possible.

"What was that all about?" Craig asked.

"Craig, we need to get there right now! Something's not right, I can feel it. She said some shit like I shouldn't worry, she's letting me go, I'm free, or something like that and then she hung up."

"Shit, Sean she's…we need to get there!"

Ellie slid into the hot water and let it surround her. She looked around the bathroom for a minute and then continued with her plan. She picked up the blade. It was asking to touch her skin. It had been months since the last time she had cut, but this time, it was for real. She wanted Sean to have the best, and she wasn't exactly a perfect ten. She placed the blade on her wrist and slowly dragged it across her arm. The warm blood ran off into the bathwater, quickly turning the water red.

Sean bolted through the door of his apartment with Craig. He ran through the house screaming for Ellie. When he walked into his room, he saw a note lying on his desk.

_I love you more than anything in this world. I am causing you pain from what happened with Jay and I don't think I can even handle it myself. If it weren't for me then you wouldn't be hurting right now. I want you to have the best in life and right now I don't think that I am good enough. Go on and find someone for you that won't hurt you. I love you. _

_Ellie_

He looked up at Craig with tears in his eyes. He looked around the room and noticed the bathroom door was closed. He ran towards it and tried to open it but it was locked.

"Ellie, Please open the door! Ellie?" Sean screamed as he banged on the door. There was no answer. He backed up and ran at the door and busted it open. He walked in to see Ellie surrounded by a sea of red.

"Ellie, please wake up! Please!" He cried and screamed as he ran to her and cradled her lifeless body. Craig stood in shock. He ran to Sean and tried to stop him.

"Sean, it's too late. There's nothing you can do." He cried. Sean slowly stood up and walked out of the bathroom and sat on the bed.

"Sean, I'm gonna go call the police and report what happened. You stay right here, and I'll be back in a second."

Sean didn't know how to handle it. He was looking around the room until his eyes came across a gun. The gun that Jay used. He started sobbing on the floor. He picked up the gun and held it to his head and right before he pulled the trigger he whispered, "Ellie, I love you, I'm coming for you."


End file.
